self reflection

and so i'm doing something crazy in this early morning. was supposed to attend class at 8.30am. now its 8.35 am and i'm sitting at home updating this post. actually i had already prepared myself for a full day of work. woke up at 6.45am. showered n drank coffee. in fact i even went out and had taken the lrt to sengkang station, which thru out i kept comtemplating if i should go school. made up my mind upon seeing the train. decided to make a detour instead and i took the lrt back with all the aunties who went to market for grocery shopping.

it would have been a long long day if i had went to school. school in the morning. work in the afternoon. 14 hrs of work. the idea of it makes it seems so mundane and tiring. besides exams are coming. i need time for self study. hours spent travelling and sitting in revision lectures could have been put to better use.

past updates:
in the past week or so, there was a day when i woke up in the morning with a sudden fear. i suddenly felt wary of what i have to face. it made me wonder being at the age of 24, what had i achieved in life. am i really happy with the way things are right now? what exactly should i be doing to make my life meaningful?

then i talked to mel about this. it turned out that she had the exact sentiments too. i guessed this is a normal stage in life. when self reflections become clear. when at some point in time, we will all stop to think about the meanings of our life.

we talked about work. i told her i wondered what things would be like if i hadn't worked in levi's for the past 5 years. how would things turn out to be if i become an air stewardess with veron after leaving ntu. i would have been able to complete a 5 years bond with sia. and have lots more money in my bank account right now. but mel said if i had went thru that, it would probably have made me a different person right now. and then we agreed that things do happen because it was predestined. life lessons are the same, just that some people experienced it early. some experience it late. in many different situations. with different people. no matter at what age we are, we are always learning.

so that's life.