i saw a rainbow

bobbie

some random old pics

happen to chance upon some old random pics..










ntu










mugging for maths paper










annie, karene, nora, me










taken at office first floor

clubbing wif metro woodlands team













me and the grand










in KL










my first forever21 online spree










ana's wedding










emily, peggy, me @ bugis tcc










jeremy, wendi, karene, nora waiting for coach to kl










mel, amy, me after spa session

tired

i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired.
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired.
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired.
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired.
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired.
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired.
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired.
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired.
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired.
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired.
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired.
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired.

self reflection

and so i'm doing something crazy in this early morning. was supposed to attend class at 8.30am. now its 8.35 am and i'm sitting at home updating this post. actually i had already prepared myself for a full day of work. woke up at 6.45am. showered n drank coffee. in fact i even went out and had taken the lrt to sengkang station, which thru out i kept comtemplating if i should go school. made up my mind upon seeing the train. decided to make a detour instead and i took the lrt back with all the aunties who went to market for grocery shopping.

it would have been a long long day if i had went to school. school in the morning. work in the afternoon. 14 hrs of work. the idea of it makes it seems so mundane and tiring. besides exams are coming. i need time for self study. hours spent travelling and sitting in revision lectures could have been put to better use.

past updates:
in the past week or so, there was a day when i woke up in the morning with a sudden fear. i suddenly felt wary of what i have to face. it made me wonder being at the age of 24, what had i achieved in life. am i really happy with the way things are right now? what exactly should i be doing to make my life meaningful?

then i talked to mel about this. it turned out that she had the exact sentiments too. i guessed this is a normal stage in life. when self reflections become clear. when at some point in time, we will all stop to think about the meanings of our life.

we talked about work. i told her i wondered what things would be like if i hadn't worked in levi's for the past 5 years. how would things turn out to be if i become an air stewardess with veron after leaving ntu. i would have been able to complete a 5 years bond with sia. and have lots more money in my bank account right now. but mel said if i had went thru that, it would probably have made me a different person right now. and then we agreed that things do happen because it was predestined. life lessons are the same, just that some people experienced it early. some experience it late. in many different situations. with different people. no matter at what age we are, we are always learning.

so that's life.

profound equation

todae i learnt a new terminology from maricel : mutual understanding.
seems like a very simple word but yet profound meaning seems to lie within. in short its known as MU and its actually used to describe a status in a relationship/friendship.

what does it actually take to understand someone?
is it something that can be justified by the test of time?
or does it depend on how well you know the person?

does understanding equals to acceptance?
or does acceptance equals to tolerance?

or maybe perhaps understanding + acceptance + tolerance = nothing

and so this is indeed a profound equation.

stuck

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did
Was it something You said
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

lost again

till this very day, sharen realizes dat she's still stuck in her depression rut..
she painfully realizes dat she still misses greatly the things that she lost..
her friends, after work suppers, jb trips, off day meetups.

putting on a brave front was never easy
and it never got better
she could easily get the whole world fooled
but the only person she couldn't lie to is herself

depression seems to be getting worse
having sleepless nights recently
feeling so ever tired
losing appetite too
dunno wats wrong again

exams are approaching
she needs to get her work done
she needs to get on her own feet

and she badly needs a break.