updates.

time for some past updates:

last week of feb:
attended a training which was targeted at developing a positive mindset. sad to say, its effect seems to be wearing off after a week. i'm trying to be optimistic, trying hard to remain positive. but i guess there are times when reality sets in, and i cant avoid feeling being undervalued. received some feedback about first impressions. one of them commented dat i look stuck up initially, but she came to realize later dat i absolutely wasn't. thank god. another comment dat i received took me by a greater surprise. the trainer actually said dat i look apprehensive. it seems like i don't trust people easily.

after a week of self-reflection, i realize it could have been true. just dat i didn't know i had it written on my face. all this while, i was afraid i would be building a wall around myself so strong dat it would somehow make me emotionless. but now i came to realize dat i have subconsciously guarded myself against trusting people too. i know i'm not being fair to the many others around me but i can only say dat this is something dat i can't help, esp with so much happenings in the past few months.


4/3-5/3:
spent my 2 off days nursing my bad bad flu. got so bad that it led to a backache. then attempted my psychology online exam. spent 3 hrs typing in my not-so-clear state of mind. wasn't fully prepared for the paper. hope i can pass it man.

6/3:
met mel in the evening for a late jacuzzi session. headed for desserts at serangoon gardens thereafter. nice desserts we had, prices were very reasonable too. it was on the way home when mel asked me something dat i had somehow avoided mentioning all this while. not dat i told her much about it in the end. i can only say dat she does indeed know me so well after so many many years of friendship.

7/3:
woke up at 1pm dat dae. supposed to report afternoon shift and was late for half n hr. only woke up when i heard dad talking on the phone. cant imagine what time would i wake up if i didn't hear dad's voice.

impromptu clubbing at dbl o dat nite wif mingxin. we went to clarke quay initially but it was very crowded everywhere. it was mambo at dbl o dat nite. nice music and i had fun. i felt like i haven't enjoyed myself for such a long time. we left there only at 4am. before heading home, we even had cup noodles at one of the back alleys. haha.

realized dat i had lost my atm card. blame myself for my carelessness. what matter wasn't the fact dat i lost my card but the fact that it was a card with sentimental value. my first atm card. its the old school grey posb card with my name imprinted on it. the card dat constantly accompanied me through out all these years. haiz.

8/3:
work morning shift and surprisingly i wasn't the least bit tired with 3 hrs of sleep the night before. met xuan n mel at bishan after work. dinner at manhattan fish mkt. it was just another one of our catching up sessions.

9/3:
yoga class in town. den headed to compass point after dat. wanted to go to the bank to get a replacement card. suddenly to my surprise, i found my old atm card in one of my wallet compartments. my eyes must have been playing tricks on me for the past 2 days. happy to find my card with sentimental value. hee. but nonetheless the card has already been deactivated. decided to walk back home from compass point. havent been doing dat for a long long time and the walk home gave me some time to think through my thoughts.