in loving memory always

the demise of mama has led me to realize how unexpected can one's life be. everything had happened within 24 hrs. the last time i saw her was on tues night. upon reaching home after work, she asked me if i had taken dinner and had warmed up food for me. heard from mummy that she had actually went for a stroll earlier on. when i went to bed at 2am, she was still watching tv.

it was just like any other day.

on wed, i went to school at noon. den headed to town to colour my hair. the shocking news came at 9.15pm. mummy reached home after work n found mama fainted inside the bathroom naked. wat a bad fright mummy had! in her panic, she suddenly forgot all the phone numbers on the emergency list, but luckily she regained her composure fast. the ambulance and my aunties all reached in ard 15mins time. all of us den fled down to the hospital from wherever we were.

the saddening news came as all of us were gathered outside the resuscitation room. apparently, mama had suffered from heavy brain bleeding, was in critical condition then. we were told to be mentally prepared. as i entered the room, i was fearful of what i had to face. looking at how frail mama looked on the bed, i couldnt help collapsing into tears as i tried to wake her up.

we stayed at the hospital till ard 2am. daddy was there thru out the night. the next morning we were asked to rush down to the hospital as mama's condition turned for the worse. but we were too late. she had left before we even reached.

the next few days were spent at the funeral. many late nights. saw many relatives. some of them i had vaguely remembered.
last day of the funeral was of great remembrance.
sorrowful departing scene at the crematorium.

this whole thing seems like a big nightmare.
so sudden. so shocking.
just that i know its a nightmare that i will never wake up from.

still trying to adapt to her absence..
she's been part of my life since young.

as days pass, i began to realize how i miss the things about her..
like how she ensures that there's always extra toilet rolls in the bathroom,
her home made french toast,
her fried rice, fried noodles,
or rather how she wants me to take lunch before leaving the house for afternoon shifts..
how she checks if i'm using the internet before switching off the tv switch, (for fear of me throwing a tantrum),
how she helps me to wash up the dishes after my meals when i feel lazy,
and how she always stays up late with me..

many pple have told me that its her fortune that she has left without much sufferings.
perhaps its true.

"thank you mama for everything that you have done for us.
may god bless you in heaven.
in loving memory always."